Wow. So it’s a new year. And Jeffree Star and Nathan Schwandt are seperated.

BUT HOW?

In Jeffree’s video, he says that Nathan and him never took the time to focus on themselves, and that Nathan never liked the spotlight that being with a multi-millionaire brought you : https://edition.cnn.com/2020/01/11/entertainment/jeffree-star-nathan-schwandt-breakup-trnd/index.html

So it has really got me thinking…

If they can’t last, can any love last?

My gut says no. Heres my baby daddy story currently.. if anyone wants to know ..

..

Constant abandonment in my life has set my default position to a no for sure. Do i think that life has a great big thing in store for me? Yes. Do i think that love is everlasting. i don’t really know the answer to this question.

My baby daddy, someone i loved truly and deeply at one point, for a matter of 6 years that we were together, he has no love for me and to be honest, before we split up, he showed that to me.

It was 2018 when we had separated, and the feelings between us were so dire; that he would spend majority of his time doing other things, rather than work on our relationship. So when Jeffree said in his video that he and Nathan were so busy worrying about each other, i honestly, couldn’t relate.

Forward to now, January 2020, my ex still does things that confuse me, and doesn’t look out for our family. Only recently have i found out that he is seeing someone who is underage, and he continues to hate on me, even when he says he loves me.

You start to compare things, like, did he start acting that way prior to your break up because you weren’t young anymore?

I was 26 years old when we split up – was it because i was focused on my career now? Rather than my looks as much? It has to be, you’re with a much younger girl now.

We never did anything remotely fun, he didn’t look at me like Jeffree to Nathan. He wouldn’t take me anywhere. But to find out that he is taking this new girl interstate trips, and when we were together, he would never take me to his FIFO jobs – it hurts.

Whilst i know this is all in the process of moving forward, and moving on, the feelings of ‘what did i do wrong’ constantly ring in my head; and the feelings as to when will love be right for me… always seem to linger. It never occurred to me that someone whom you have split up with, could hurt you for so long after. But then again, would i be talking to you if we didn’t have children to raise together? Would you talk to me? Would i even care?

I look at Jeffree Star and Nathans relationship and always thought ‘relationship goals’.. but what is a relationship goal?

Either way, i feel worthless and stupid. And extremely sorry for my kids.

Being a 27 year old in itself is lonely. But then, when you’re dealing with the daily grind of looking after kids, a career that won’t seem to take off in the way you would like, or your ex boyfriend messing up, you can’t seem to shake feelings of sadness that you really are truly alone.

They say loneliness is just a ‘feeling’. But why do you feel lonely? Read on for some tips that i have researched that may help you understand your loneliness.

So what is a feeling of loneliness?

Well, do you feel an ache in your chest? Do you feel disconnected from the world around you? Do you feel like nobody really ‘gets’ you? Do you crave human interactivity? You may be in a room surrounded by people, but you still feel lonely, like nobody ‘gets’ you.

What can you do to stop feeling so lonely?

1. Make some tiny small steps

Ah, this is a tough one. You see, i don;t think i will ever stop feeling lonely, if i am honest.

Go to the supermarket, talk to the cashier? Message someone you know on facebook asking how they are? Go for a walk and say hi to strangers (unless you live in a crummy neighbourhood. lol)

2. Hang out with like minded people.

What do you like to do? Gaming? What music are you into? I am personally into gaming, i love gaming. So i go to EB games, and talk to the dude there. Dopamine overload.

3. Write it down

Do something silly like me , and just start your own blog lol. Start your own diary if you hate blogging.

This is an example post, originally published as part of Blogging University. Enroll in one of our ten programs, and start your blog right.

You’re going to publish a post today. Don’t worry about how your blog looks. Don’t worry if you haven’t given it a name yet, or you’re feeling overwhelmed. Just click the “New Post” button, and tell us why you’re here.

Why do this?

• Because it gives new readers context. What are you about? Why should they read your blog?
• Because it will help you focus you own ideas about your blog and what you’d like to do with it.

The post can be short or long, a personal intro to your life or a bloggy mission statement, a manifesto for the future or a simple outline of your the types of things you hope to publish.

To help you get started, here are a few questions:

• Why are you blogging publicly, rather than keeping a personal journal?
• What topics do you think you’ll write about?
• Who would you love to connect with via your blog?
• If you blog successfully throughout the next year, what would you hope to have accomplished?

You’re not locked into any of this; one of the wonderful things about blogs is how they constantly evolve as we learn, grow, and interact with one another — but it’s good to know where and why you started, and articulating your goals may just give you a few other post ideas.

Can’t think how to get started? Just write the first thing that pops into your head. Anne Lamott, author of a book on writing we love, says that you need to give yourself permission to write a “crappy first draft”. Anne makes a great point — just start writing, and worry about editing it later.

When you’re ready to publish, give your post three to five tags that describe your blog’s focus — writing, photography, fiction, parenting, food, cars, movies, sports, whatever. These tags will help others who care about your topics find you in the Reader. Make sure one of the tags is “zerotohero,” so other new bloggers can find you, too.