Wow. So it’s a new year. And Jeffree Star and Nathan Schwandt are seperated.
BUT HOW?
In Jeffree’s video, he says that Nathan and him never took the time to focus on themselves, and that Nathan never liked the spotlight that being with a multi-millionaire brought you : https://edition.cnn.com/2020/01/11/entertainment/jeffree-star-nathan-schwandt-breakup-trnd/index.html
So it has really got me thinking…
If they can’t last, can any love last?
My gut says no. Heres my baby daddy story currently.. if anyone wants to know ..
..
Constant abandonment in my life has set my default position to a no for sure. Do i think that life has a great big thing in store for me? Yes. Do i think that love is everlasting. i don’t really know the answer to this question.
My baby daddy, someone i loved truly and deeply at one point, for a matter of 6 years that we were together, he has no love for me and to be honest, before we split up, he showed that to me.
It was 2018 when we had separated, and the feelings between us were so dire; that he would spend majority of his time doing other things, rather than work on our relationship. So when Jeffree said in his video that he and Nathan were so busy worrying about each other, i honestly, couldn’t relate.
Forward to now, January 2020, my ex still does things that confuse me, and doesn’t look out for our family. Only recently have i found out that he is seeing someone who is underage, and he continues to hate on me, even when he says he loves me.
You start to compare things, like, did he start acting that way prior to your break up because you weren’t young anymore?
I was 26 years old when we split up – was it because i was focused on my career now? Rather than my looks as much? It has to be, you’re with a much younger girl now.
We never did anything remotely fun, he didn’t look at me like Jeffree to Nathan. He wouldn’t take me anywhere. But to find out that he is taking this new girl interstate trips, and when we were together, he would never take me to his FIFO jobs – it hurts.
Whilst i know this is all in the process of moving forward, and moving on, the feelings of ‘what did i do wrong’ constantly ring in my head; and the feelings as to when will love be right for me… always seem to linger. It never occurred to me that someone whom you have split up with, could hurt you for so long after. But then again, would i be talking to you if we didn’t have children to raise together? Would you talk to me? Would i even care?
I look at Jeffree Star and Nathans relationship and always thought ‘relationship goals’.. but what is a relationship goal?
Either way, i feel worthless and stupid. And extremely sorry for my kids.
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